Experience is the Best Teacher

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Magaling pa sina Pamela dati, pagod na pagod sila lagi

This is what my mother said one day. She was pertaining to me and my co-SSG officers. Pamela was an alumna of our school who happens to be the SSG President back in her days.

I ignored it and went on with my usual agenda during that time, which was pretending to be part of the student leaders of our school. I am not saying our administration was lousy but we are being compared to more successful ones. I guess our Ates and Kuyas were better than their successor despite the fact that we are doing our best.

I’m not that excited about this organization compared to my School Paper family because I feel that pressure is building in my chest. We were elected and we should be the “role models”. I think everyone is observing our every move with a look fit for a blood thirsty vampire. The pressure with an unpredictable crowd makes the job really difficult for me. Because of this my slight excitement totally died down.

My part was moving here and there in lines of students to stand and stare at them during flag ceremonies and flag retreats. That was what I’m doing all this time and sometimes shouting “wag kayong maingay!”. Pathetic isn’t it? It is a little awkward and every once in a while someone will call you names and mock you and stuff. I would do everything to not be in those same moments again. I’m sick of it and I never enjoyed it.

I am afraid of the big responsibility that I will have after the induction. Besides SSG meetings are often squeezed into our 20 minute lunch break, it’s a huge struggle for me. I don’t want lose weight you know. Hahahahahaha. I am not that confident with my capabilities. I am afraid that people may judge me because of my slightest flaw. I guess that’s why I got hooked to writing. No pressure and it accepted me for who I am.

That’s why I backed out on last year’s election for this year’s position. I felt free and happy. I never loved it anyway. Many would ask me why I did that and I would answer “wala lang”. They wouldn’t understand it anyway. Screw those Leadership Awards, it doesn’t matter if others will have more medals than me in the end at least I’m happy with my decision. I don’t want to have mental pressure.

It’s a scary world out there and I easily get scared. I think I’m not prepared for journey into the unknown. I’m weak and I know that. I’m not fit for big leadership jobs. I want to have change but I want to be involved in a way that I don’t have to be under pressure again. More of an adviser, project thinker thing and all that stuff.

I’ m defying what they were used to, that a SSG officer will be a SSG officer until the end. Once you’re a part of it there’s no turning back. That’s what I have notice in my co-officers. Some were officers since their freshman years. I want something new for a change.

ralphwaldoemerson101322

(Ang sama ng tittle pasensiya na, wala akong maisip.)

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7 responses »

  1. Hmmmmm smells like teen spirit. 🙂
    For all its worth, you write better in English than I did when I was in high school. 😉
    Screw their expectations, tread your own path!

    • Kinakabahan nga akong magsulat sa Ingles dahil hindi ako magaling. Baka magkagulo ang grammar 😉 Hahahaha

      Yeah! Screw their expectations! Purket ba honor student sunod na lang nang sunod sa gusto nila? Sa mga kasabayan ko ako lang ang umayaw. Ayaw ko na eh.

      Salamat sa pagbabasa ng mga post ko!

  2. Tama si Kuya June, you write very well in the English medium.

    ‘Yung comment ko sa Filipino language na lang ha. Mag-she-share din ako. Noong first year ako, sa Leuteboro ako pumapasok. I was also part of the SSG. Freshie pa lang pero officer na (elected first year representative ako). Pakiramdam ko naman noon, mas maliit ‘yung burden kumpara sa nasa higher positions ng council. Pero just like you, I also hated the SSG stuff. For example, as a representative of the first year level, I had to assure the well-being of the more or less 300 freshies. Tapos kapag may problema sila, sa akin lalapit. ‘Pag hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang solusyon, pag-uusapan ako at sasabihing ineffective officer. Tapos, sa Leuteboro kasi, mayroong Student Volunteer. Hindi siya SSG, but they do the same thing. Minsan, malimit makumpara ang SV sa SSG; sasabihin na mas useful ang SV kesa sa amin. It was degrading to us officers. But we hated ourselves more because we knew for a fact that it was true. Noong batch kasi ng officers noon, SSC lahat. Tapos ang mga SV, puro sa regular section. Siyempre, mas malaya sa schedule ang mga SV members.

    Pero hindi ako natuto. Eventually, tumakbo ako at the end of the school year as second year representative para sa susunod na school year (although the reason why I ran was because my crush was running for third year representative post, and if I ran, magkaalyado kami, hihihi).

    Lumipat na ako sa IHMA after first grading period ng second year kaya ‘di ko natapos ang term ko as second year representative sa LNHS (at thankful ako na makalaya). I learned my lesson and did not run for a student council post in IHMA. Pero pusang gala, napilit akong maging class president noong third year, which was brutally excruciating. I just hated the responsibility which requires me to be physically fit. Magbubuhat ng ganito-ganyan, magdudungkal ng ganito-ganyan, magkakabit ng ganito-ganyan. Etcetera etcetera.

    Ayun, mas feel ko rin ang school paper org. Kaso talaga, most school paper orgs in the province are underrated and underutilized. I tried to improve the system of campus press when I was in fourth year, kaso wala talagang pakialam ang school admin. I lost the vibe kaya hindi na rin ako nagpaka-effort.

    • Hahahahahaha! Tama ka, isa pang dahilan ko ay ang mga gawain. Pag officer kayo ang mga dakilang utusan ng mga guro. Kaya minsan nagtatago ako sa room o kaya sa mga malalayong lugar. Tsaka pag inutusan ka ng isa sunud-sunod na yan. Namimiss ko tuloy ang mga klase.

      Tsaka wala akong kaclose sa ibang section kaya awkward. Sumasama na lang ako dun sa iba para masabi lang na may ginagawa ako. Hindi lang kasi kami nakaaasign sa year na para sayo. Paano pag wala ang higher years kami ang bahala. Parang nakakatakot magpasunod ng mga Juniors at Seniors.

      Kakaiba ang “the moves” mo ha. Para mapalapit dun sa 3rd year repre. Hahahahaha

      Balak ko ngang gumawa ng masterplan na ako lang ang nakakaalam para sa School Paper namin. Para kahit paano manalo ulit kami. Secret muna. Maaga akong magpeprepare tapos kapag hindi maganda ang results ay irerevise ko. 🙂

      Uy salamat sa pagbabasa ha. Gusto ko pang magbasa ng mga post mo.

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